The Value of Sitting With Yourself

Self-Acceptance Comes In Moments of Silence

Photo by Ian Stauffer on Unsplash

This month has been a bit challenging for me personally. I am normally extremely productive. I usually have a calendar full of clients, classes, and gatherings. I tend to spend my meditation time while engaging in vigorous exercise. It tends to be fairly easy for me to feel joy, to feel that I am fulfilling my mission for being here.

This month has been a little quieter. I have had to cancel some of my classes and events due to weather. My client load has been lighter than normal. I have used this time to work on my upcoming book that I am writing with Jesus on healing religious trauma. I am mostly done, I think, but I still feel like there may be a missing chapter I have not received yet, so I have a chapter designated for some upcoming conversation with Jesus that has not yet occurred.

I have also experienced what I would describe as some energetic shifts or upgrades, which normally hit me physically in some way. I have not been able to engage in my normal exercise routine, even though I am not necessarily physically ill.

After I completed going over my manuscript multiple times with a fine-toothed comb, there was nothing left to do but sit with myself and my soul.

This completely fits with the theme for this month, which I had written about in a previous blog post and then another one.

I often relay this message to my clients when they are feeling a bit out of sorts. Sometimes you have to have a reboot. Our energy bodies are much like computers, which regularly receive updates which improve their functionality. After an update, as you know, a prompt comes to reboot your computer. This will temporarily shut down the computer.

A reboot is temporary, but essential!

All of us have moments when we feel less motivated to be productive. We lack the energy to exercise, or engage socially, or feel like our normal selves.

The time that we feel “shut down” is different for everyone, and may be different depending on what stage of energetic evolution you are experiencing. A couple of years ago, I had an energetic “upgrade”, and I was completely shut down for three weeks. I had to cancel clients, events, and other responsibilities and stay mostly in bed for the entire time. This time, I have been able to function pretty much normally, with the exception of the past couple of days. However, despite my inability to exercise or engage socially, I have enjoyed an amazing interaction with the Spirit world. My gifts seemed to have enjoyed an upgrade.

One of the messages I have received over the past couple of weeks has been that it is those who go through the darkest times are the ones who seem to have the most mystical experiences and gifts.

Collectively we are going through a dark night of the soul. The structure that has held us together as a society is breaking down. Many are going through tremendous trauma as their lives are being completely uprooted. Whether they have lost their homes due to natural disasters, like fires or hurricanes or earthquakes, or whether their jobs or their lives are being threatened due to shifts in governmental policies, whether wars or diseases or shifts in power have annihilated the life they enjoyed, everyone is experiencing some sort of death experience. Our sense of security and way of life are being shifted.

The only way for us to navigate these shifts and stay aligned to our own sense of well-being is to engage in self-care, and to go within ourselves to remember that we are Divine beings living out life in a human experience that we agreed to!

It is okay to admit we are struggling. But it is vital to our survival to remember that we are experiencing this trauma temporarily, and not buy into the fear.

The download that I received while meditating was that I AM. I am my physical experience of life as a human in this realm. But I AM also the universe. I AM also every other incarnation here on the earth plane and beyond. I am not separate. I am not alone.

In every story, I am both the perpetrator and the victim. When I judge someone else’s life choices or experiences, I am judging myself.

In every situation, every piece of the puzzle counts. The soldiers on the front lines are no more important than the cook who is preparing their food. Each of us has a role to play. Some of us are here to fight against injustice and expose the lies and control tactics which hold us captive to systems and structures that are in place to keep us in line. Some of us are here to heal those who are wounded in battles, both personal and collective. Some of us are here to feed the hungry, or comfort the grieving. And in all of these scenarios, each of us is also an aspect of the Divine Intelligence in what we perceive to be “other” than us.

We don’t have to always agree.

If someone has no idea what chopsticks are, and have never used them to eat, it would be pointless to offer them to use as eating utensils, unless we also showed them how they are to be used. And if that person is like me, they may or may not be successful using them as a tool. But this does not mean we judge them for eating with a fork.

The downloads that I receive from the Spirit world may not resonate with you, and that is okay. It just means that I am using a different tool than you are. But we can all agree that on the other side of the dark, is the dawning of a new day.

The dawn will come for you when you realize that the dark is temporary.

In my last post, I chatted about love, and the idea that love is really all there is. When you truly realize that there is nothing left but love, you will attain enlightenment. However, when you are experiencing in your love nothing but the lack of love, it is not always easy to believe that love is all there is.

When we feel disconnected from our source, we may feel lost and alone. We may feel fear based on what is happening either in our lives personally or in the state of the world. But it is important to sit with whatever stage you are in. If you are feeling disconnected, lost and alone, sit with that. Feel every emotion that comes up. If you sit with it long enough, it begins to lose its power, because at some point, you begin to accept that moment for what it is. You do not wish it away or imagine that you are feeling love and acceptance, if what you are feeling in that moment is not that.

You see, love is acceptance of what is.

The gift of being human is that we get to experience it all, realizing that none of it is permanent. Every moment is a temporary experience of whatever you are feeling in that moment.

Whenever we judge a moment in time and wish it was something other than what it is, we are essentially disconnecting from the gift of that moment and that experience.

We can either complain about the weather and wish it was something different, therefore losing the present moment, or we can accept that the weather, in this moment, is what it is.

We can complain about the government, or our life partner, or our employer, or our friends or associates, and lament what is wrong, or we can accept it, sit with it, and move through it.

I have found that the longer we complain about something, the more affect it has on our sense of well-being.

I used to be that person who complained about my circumstances rather than do something to change it. The moment I realized that the situation was not going to change, just by complaining about it, was the moment I began to change my situation. When I realized that it was no one else’s responsibility except my own how I was feeling, was the moment I became free.

This is a work in progress! Sometimes I forget! We all do.

Today, take a moment and sit with yourself. Do a little inner assessment. How are you feeling in this moment? Sit with each feeling and just observe it. Really allow yourself to feel it without judgement. Accept yourself for how you feel without analyzing what you should be doing or what someone else should be doing to make things better.

Love is acceptance. When you can accept yourself, your emotions, your thoughts, your reactions, your choices without judgement, you are one step closer to loving yourself. And when you love yourself, completely, your life changes.

Life is a series of moments. In some moments you will be joyful. You will be productive. You will be living your best life. And other moments you will be sad. Or angry. Or lost. Or alone. Sit with it. Allow it.

When you cease to resist the parts of yourself or your life you don’t want, they will cease to have power over you, and they will go away on their own. You won’t need those parts anymore.

When we can also observe the behavior of others without judgement, and accept it for what it is, and not allow their behavior to steal our own personal joy, then we can move one step closer to our experience of enlightenment.

One day at a time. One moment at a time. Because that is all there is.

Thank you for walking alongside me as together we journey through this thing called life. Here are those links to further reading my musings and delving deeper into this mystery of life with me.