Why?
When January comes around, many of us are still tying up loose ends from the prior year. Some of us are thinking about what things we may want to change going forward. We may be thinking about what gives our life meaning, what is important, and what is not. We may be adopting a plan to eat better, exercise more, don’t spend so much money on things that are not that important, or maybe stop drinking, smoking, or engaging in habits which we deem as unhealthy or undesirable.
On December 30, we had a new moon in Capricorn, my sun sign. I was encouraged by the astrology community that this day was a perfect day to do a deep dive into what I wanted to create for the following year.
I contemplated this question for a bit. And then I asked myself this question.
Why?
Why do I do the things I do, and why do I want what I want?
For me, I would like to say that I do the things I do because they bring me joy or because I love doing them, because I know this is the right answer. Any other motivation is flawed.
Yes, there is the motivation that something I am doing is benefitting someone else.
But, even that motivation boils down to the fact that doing good and kind things brings me joy.
The work that I do as a psychic, medium, and spiritual healer and communicator brings me joy. It also puts food on my table and pays my mortgage. But it is a wonderful gift to be able to do things that bring joy and healing to others that also supports me financially.
This hasn’t always been the case. I worked for the Post Office for thirty-one years and did my healing work “on the side.” I dreamed of the day when I could leave the Post Office behind and do my spiritual work full time. Eventually I was able to do that very thing.
As I look at my life, I have realized the dream I had for many years.
But human nature being what it is, and given the fact that my sun is in Capricorn, it seems I am always looking ahead to what is next. So, what is next? Is there a “next?” If so, why is there a “next?” I am perfectly content doing what I am doing and not changing a thing. But, somewhere inside, I often find myself contemplating, what is next? Does there “have to be” a next?
I recently read a post by Timber Hawkeye on his Facebook Page, Buddhist Boot Camp, that addressed the very question of why do we want what we want? He told the story of a woman who created a vision board with a check for $2 million made out to her. Some time later, she was in a car accident and was awarded that exact amount as a settlement for injuries sustained in the accident. She realized that she would trade that $2 million for her health and her life back.
Ultimately, when we think about things we would like to have, it is imperative to ask ourselves why we do what we do and why we want what we want.
When I began to do a deep dive into my motivation for creating the things I am working on, I had to also question the idea that inside of my soul I believe that I was sent to the Earth on a mission to bring healing and joy and comfort to others.
The next section of my post may trigger some of you with religious trauma, but, bear with me, I have a point. Keep reading.
Years ago, I adopted a mission statement.
A mission statement is something that motivates me to continue to do the things I do. It gives me an answer to the “why”.
This mission statement is a version of the one Jesus proclaimed was his mission statement.
He said,
“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” (Luke 4:18)
If it is true that Jesus came as a Divine Being in a human body, and if it is also true that we are the same, a Divine Being in a human body, then I am not wrong in adopting the same mission statement as Jesus. I may not be able to feed a multitude with five loaves and fish, or walk on water, but in my own way, I am bringing healing and joy and comfort to those who read my posts, or come to my gatherings or classes, or read my books, or have a private session with me.
I like to continue on a little bit from where Jesus found this passage in Isaiah. (I took out the vengeance part, since I don’t feel it is my job to exact vengeance on anyone, but listen to this as it continues..
“to comfort all who mourn, to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. (Isaiah 61: 1-3)
Since I do not necessarily profess loyalty to any particular religion, I have changed “The Lord” and other references to Judaism or Christianity to more universal terms, like “The Divine” or “Source Energy” or “Prime Creator”. And, no, I do not believe I will be cursed for changing any words in the Bible to suit what feels good to me in my soul. (Read my previous post on curses, or stay tuned for my upcoming book on healing religious trauma, where I dedicate some time to addressing curses, as well as other religious-based beliefs, wounds and fears.)
During the next few days or weeks, even, I would encourage you to do a deep dive into not only what you want to manifest, or create in your life, but why you want it.
Do you think there is something you are “supposed” to be doing?
Why do you think that?
I also had to contemplate such questions as:
Why do I exercise? Do I do it because it gives me joy, or because I have been programmed to believe I am only acceptable if I am a certain size or weight?
Why do I feel the need to eliminate certain things from my life that are supposedly not “good for me?”
I hear this a lot.
My clients ask me if they should eliminate alcohol, or cigarettes, or meat from their lives in order to be more “spiritual” or more “in tune” or closer to the Divine, or something.
I would remind you that Jesus broke those rules two thousand years ago.
He drank wine. He ate things that were not on the traditional Jewish diet on days when he was not supposed to do those things. He said that it was not what you took into your body that made you “unclean,” but what came out of you from inside your heart. (Matthew 15:11)
If you cannot feel your best drinking alcohol, or eating meat, or potato chips, then don’t eat them! Some people cannot do these things, due to their own physical composition, or genetics, or addictive tendencies. But there is no God or Higher Power that simultaneously offers these things to you and forbids you from enjoying them, less you meet a less than fortunate fate.
I call myself the “no rules shaman” (I use the term shaman loosely, as I do not consider myself a shaman, necessarily) in that I don’t believe that we need to abstain from things just because someone says it will make us more spiritual, or because that is the way it has always been done, or because we are afraid of some unfortunate consequences. I believe the only rule is love.
If doing something is not hurting anyone, including yourself, then carry on.
You could argue that cigarettes, alcohol, or potato chips ARE harming you, physically. I could respond with examples of humans who lived long and joyful lives while doing all the “no no’s”, as well as others who died before their time while doing everything “right.”
“Do what you will, but harm none.” (this is actually the mission statement of certain sects of witchcraft, such as the Golden Dawn and others.)
Years ago, I attended a full moon ceremony at a beach with other students of my shamanic mentor at the time. I was instructed that no alcohol was allowed during the entire weekend. However, when I arrived, there was a giant chocolate cake and other “junk food” all over the kitchen, and at least half of the attendees were out on the deck smoking cigarettes. I wondered what made alcohol unacceptable but junk food and cigarettes “allowed.”
Some time later, I attended another shamanic retreat with a completely different group. One of the “shamans” who was facilitating the event not only drank wine, but also sold it at his table, along with handmade drums and other shamanic tools.
A third shamanic gathering I attended, I was forced to eat vegan the entire week. As soon as I left, I stopped at the first restaurant on my route home and ordered a big, greasy cheeseburger and a diet Coke. I also contracted COVID from this retreat because the main “shaman” had a habit of spitting Florida water on each of us daily, and gave us all COVID. This is a fairly well-known shaman with a large following, who I felt compelled to avoid eye contact with the entire week.
I propose that the rules vary depending on the belief system.
The bottom line is that your motivation needs to be your own.
You are the one who decides these things for yourself.
You create your own mission statement.
As long as you are feeling love and joy and are not causing harm to yourself or others, you are fine.
If your only thing on your mission statement is “I am here to experience joy.” That is enough.
Life is not necessarily easy. We choose what we want to put our time and effort into. If we want to put time and effort into being physically fit, we have to work at it. It also takes time and effort to do the opposite, because we have consequences for either choice. If not exercising and eating whatever you want sets the stage for illness in your body, then you will have to deal with that, which is also hard. If spending money creates financial stress, and your partner ends up leaving you for someone who is financially responsible, then you have to work at paying off debt and creating a new life in some way. If saving money is hard for you, you have to choose which hard thing you want to do. Every choice we make is hard in some way. It is always about choice.
If living in fear is what you choose, then you will stress about what you eat, and what you drink, and how much money you are spending, and whether or not you are spending twenty minutes a day meditating.
If you love your life, you will exercise and eat and spend or save money and meditate or do your spiritual practice based on what you love and how it makes you feel. You will find that the more joy you feel, the easier it is to attract the things in your life that you have been chasing to no avail. You will not have to wonder when you true love is going to show up, or when your perfect job or perfect home or perfect life is going to manifest, because you will be living your best life in every moment, and more good things will just show up.
You will realize that your perfect life is now.
Life is messy. Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes it is easy. Sometimes it is amazing and wonderful and sometimes it sucks. But it is your life.
Today, decide to let go of what you think you want and instead, ask yourself why you want it. Will having this thing or this person or this life give you joy? If so, pursue joy instead, and these things will show up on their own.
Let us release the fear that we are not doing what we “should” be doing, which results in making flawed intentions, New Year’s resolutions, and setting unrealistic expectations on ourselves and others.
Let us, instead, adopt the law of love.
Thank you for reading to the end!
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I hope today you give yourself a break. Don’t set unrealistic goals or expectations. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Decide to do everything that makes you really, really, happy, and then do everything that you have time to do after that. - Abraham-Hicks
(Today I skipped exercising to write this post!)
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