The Queen of Unsolicited Advice

Confessions of a psychic, medium and spiritual healer

I admit it.

I have an extremely significant character flaw.

As a psychic, medium, and shamanic Reiki energy healer, I have people who come to me for guidance, advice, healing, and assistance. I spend a good portion of my normal week seeing people who pay me to give them advice. The advice is not my own, however. My special gift is tuning into the spirit world and receiving guidance from deceased loved ones, Angels, Guides, and other Benevolent Helpers. This blog is not necessarily about those people or my work, specifically.

This confession is about everyone else who happens into my life.

I am the queen of unsolicited advice.

I offer this advice mostly to family members, but on occasion, other people who have not requested my opinion, suggestions or advice, or even healing energy, but ends up being the recipient anyway.

Before my daughter and my step-daughter took concrete steps to not have any more children, I would text them every time the cards suggested a pregnancy was possible and advised them to be careful if they were not ready to have another child. And I “knew” they were not ready.

For me to receive this information, I had to be reading their cards without their knowledge or permission. Guilty.

It would have been different if they had asked. I have an understood agreement that any family members have unlimited access to my guidance, healing, or spirit-inspired information.

But they didn’t ask.

This was not the only occasion.

As I write this article, I was contacted by a person in my life who offered me some unsolicited advice, and I became extremely agitated and yes, angry.

Since I have clients later on in the day, I knew I needed to process my anger quickly. Anger is one of those emotions that, even though it is a perfectly normal emotional response when a boundary has been crossed, it is also one of those emotions that can limit my ability to tune into Spirit.

I immediately recognized that my emotional response was WAY out of proportion to the offense.

Knowing that when we have an overreaction to a trigger, the offense was probably not the original infraction, and an unhealed or possibly unrecognized wound had most likely been poked, I went connected with Spirit and asked, “What is this about? Why did I get so angry?”

I immediately heard from Spirit, “maybe you should look into the mirror.”

One of the concepts I learned years ago when I first embarked upon an alternative spiritual path was that anytime you are triggered, and even every experience you have in life is a mirror to something inside of yourself that you have drawn in so that you can see yourself clearly.

I completely recognize this character flaw. I admit it. I have apologized repeatedly to people close to me and determined to not offer advice or guidance unless I am asked.

But I often fail in my attempts.

I have been called nosy. This assessment is probably true. But I think I am getting better.

Recently, in the past couple of months, I have expressed my opinion in situations that were none of my business. And I got called out for it!

Luckily, I have a blanket permission from my daughter to offer advice or get in her business. She says, “You are my mom. That is what moms do. You can speak into my life anytime you want.”

Thank you for that.

For everyone else, for every single time I have offered suggestions, advice, healing, opinions, or have intercepted myself into your lives without permission, I am sorry. And I am trying to be better.

Many years ago, I had made the decision to stop going to church. And then I left my husband. My daughter made the decision to stay with her father.

I rented a small apartment containing my basic needs.

One day one of my “friends” from church came to my apartment with a “word from the Lord” for me.

She and her husband were good friends to me and my soon-to-be-ex-husband and I had not yet learned whose “side” she had taken, but I was soon to find out.

She proceeded to tell me that “the Lord was not happy with my recent decisions. It was time for me to come back to the Lord and work on healing my marriage.”

Unsurprisingly, she was not the only one to receive this message from “the Lord.”

However, I remained calm and offered my response.

“If the Lord is unhappy with my choices, then He can go **** himself. I am happy for the first time in my life. My daughter is free to join me if she wants, but she has chosen to stay with her dad, despite what stories are going around. I don’t think the Lord, however, wants me to be miserable, depressed, and suicidal. The “Lord” and I are good, I think, and if he has anything to say, he will need to tell me himself.”

Interestingly enough, my friend began to cry and lament about her life and how unhappy she was. The rest of our conversation was all about her and some things she could do to empower herself and reconnect with her sense of well-being.

We all need to have strong boundaries and not be afraid to stand up for ourselves when they have been crossed.

I understand that sometimes I may offer advice when it is not requested. I am working on getting better at that. I think I have made some improvements!

One of the reasons I love writing these articles is that I am offering inspiration, guidance and advice and anyone who chooses can be the recipient of my perspective. I am not crossing any boundaries because you are free to gobble up what I am serving, or not.

What spiritual insight can you take away from this soul confession?

1.      Don’t allow just anyone to speak into your life. Have some boundaries. Call people out if they are offering opinions, advice, or suggestions which you have not requested. Your response should be as loving and kind as possible, but state your boundaries clearly.

2.      Look at any recent triggers. Have you gotten triggered recently? What were the circumstances? Does this reflect any character flaws on your part or is it related to an old, perhaps forgotten, unhealed wound? If it feels eerily familiar to some sort of recurring pattern, then perhaps there is a healing that needs to occur. Journal about it, seek out assistance from a trusted advisor, friend, therapist, or spiritual healer.

3.      Sometimes it is hard not to respond out of emotion. Give yourself a little space and time before responding to someone who has triggered you. (Take it from me. When you respond out of emotion, it is never a good outcome. You will probably have to eat some of your words).

4.      Remember that everyone is human and will make mistakes. Don’t put anyone on a pedestal or think that they have a hotline to Heaven. Anyone who will not admit their character flaws and attempts to claim perfection is suspect. Just because someone claims to have their version of a “word from the Lord” for you doesn’t mean you can always trust the message. If you have not asked for a message, you do not have to receive it. When you put someone on a pedestal and they fall, the fall is worse for them and worse for you, because the distance they fall is greater than if they had been on equal ground with you. A twenty-foot fall is worse than falling off of a stepstool.

5.      Despite what you see on television, it is not ethical to offer messages to people who have not requested them. If you receive messages from Spirit, remember this! Even if you receive information for someone, if they have not asked you, you cannot offer it as a message without asking permission first. You can initiate a conversation with a person and if they bring it up, offer your perspective, but only if they are receptive and seem open to it.

If you want your boundaries respected, then you need to respect the boundaries of others.

If you find yourself triggered today, take a step back, and think about what happened. If you are at fault in any way, make amends, or at least, attempt to. We can be all about love and light, and self-improvement, and living our best life, but at some point we will probably have to account for all the times we fell short and crossed someone’s boundaries or did regrettable things. Don’t make excuses for your behavior or blame someone else, something else, or life circumstances. Own your behavior.

For me, today someone crossed my boundaries, and it reminded me of all the times when I did the same. No one is exempt from imperfection.

If you have enjoyed this post, I welcome your likes, comments, shares, and …. you know the drill.

Stay tuned for more confessions from a psychic, medium, and energy healer, and tips for living your best life and healing all those wounds of the soul.

If you are interested in my story, I wrote a book about my journey from good-little-born-again Christian girl to psychic, medium, and energy healer. My original title was going to be “Confessions of a Recovering Holy Roller” but when I approached a book agent with the title, she convinced me that I was alienating my target audience. I renamed the book “Journey to Joy” and you can find out how to buy it HERE.

I do private sessions with clients, offer a daily message from Spirit on Facebook and Instagram, teach classes on a variety of spiritual subjects and hold gatherings in my area of the world, which happens to be Winchester Virginia. I have recorded some of the classes and have them available on video. If you want to know more about me or see what is going on and where I will be, check me out HERE.

Even those of us who do spiritual work get triggered!

It is my personal policy to process any difficult emotions before my clients’ appointments so that I am a clear channel for Spirit when it is time for your session.

Normally, things that happen to me before a client’s session end up being a mirror for what is going on in their life. It just so happened, that my first client who came to me after I had processed my anger was attempting to make amends to some people for some regrettable actions on her part. I was able to be clear for her and offer her guidance from Spirit apart from my own wounds. I found it interesting that I was in the process of writing this article when it came time for her appointment.

Owning your imperfections is the first step toward healing them!

I am realizing that as we are evolving to a more awakened state of consciousness, we may get triggered to heal those areas of our lives in which we made decisions or took actions that are no longer aligned with who we are now. If we don’t acknowledge our shortcomings and attempt to make amends, it may postpone our spiritual advancement until we are willing to own our imperfections.

Make amends if you have crossed a boundary of some kind. Doing so will catapult you into a higher frequency and take you one step closer to your journey towards spiritual awakening.