Roller Coaster Ride
Not Knowing is Both Terrifying and Exciting All At the Same Time
A couple weeks ago I was in Texas with my stepson and his family. We all decided to go to the amusement park near them. My six-year-old grandson was offered an opportunity to ride a fairly scary, rickety, wooden roller coaster. I was more than a little apprehensive. However, he looked me square in the eyes and said, “Grandma, it is time for me to face my fears.”
I stood with my stepson at the exit point, watching to see if he actually got on the ride or changed his mind at the last moment. From that vantage point I could see that this ride was much more intense than I originally thought. I expressed my concerns to the new dad-figure in my grandson’s life, who lives his life every day testing fate in service to humankind.
He said to me, “Sometimes you just have to jump in and throw caution to the wind. You can’t just stand on the edge and watch or life will pass you by.”
I admire this quality in others but have never been a ‘live by the seat of your pants’ kind of girl. I like knowing. I like having a plan and a back up plan just in case the original plan goes south.
This year for me has been a lesson in not knowing. Every time I have made a plan, something has come in and interupted it. I have written about this ad-nauseum in my posts this year.
As a spiritual communicator, I have become fairly accustomed to entering into my monthly spiritual gathering not knowing what direction Spirit will take us until I have settled everyone down and gotten into a time of channeled guided meditation. I am used to going into my sessions with my clients with complete trust that not knowing ahead of time what Spirit will say is my greatest asset to an amazing session.
However, when it comes to my own life, and the direction of my spiritual mission, I don’t like not knowing. I have always had this sense of direction to the degree that, even if I didn’t know exactly where I was going, I had some sense of where I was headed and took the steps in that direction.
Before I began my monthly spiritual gathering, I had a vision of creating a space where Angels appeared and descended down from above, each person in attendance having a personal interaction with an Angel. I spent the next few years creating that space and calling in the Angels in an attempt to fulfil that vision.
This year, attendance dwindled and I entertained the idea that perhaps that vision had run its course. However, I had nothing concrete that I felt led to do next instead, so I have continued, knowing that when Spirit tells me to close up shop, I will do so.
My Guides have always given me several months to prepare when my path was about to shift. They have to break it to me several times in several different ways. By the time a shift of direction comes, I am expecting it. But this year, I have had this sense that there may be a shift of direction, but no hints ahead of time telling me what to prepare for.
It has been a lesson in resting in the unknown and still knowing that it will be okay.
But isn’t that what the spiritual journey is all about?
It is about trusting that the Universe is there to support us and assist in whatever life throws our way, and the idea that there is a plan, even if we don’t know what it is.
I like the idea that I am the creator of my life, and that if I want something, I can draw it to me by merging with the consciousness of that desire. I wrote about the concept of merging with the consciousness of a desire HERE. But for me, the desires seemed to be planted inside from a higher source. They weren’t necessarily my ideas.
Up until this year, I had that skill down pat. I would receive an inspired idea, and I would begin to merge my consciousness with that idea until it had materialized. Each of my books, my classes, my gatherings, my daily and weekly messages from Spirit, were all birthed from merging with my Spirit Team and following the guidance or the inspiration I was given.
Normally, for me, this happens in January. Sometimes the direction continues from one year to the next, but this year, there was a noticable pause.
My Team did not give me a plan. All attempts to contine with ‘business as usual’ have been met with resistance. And this has thrown me off.
The monthly gatherings have shifted in the past couple of months. I am finding that Archangel Michael and Jesus are my two main contributors, offering channeled messages and healing both to individuals and to the group. I shared a transcript of one of the gatherings recently.
What I am learning is that each day, I get up,and I do what I am tasked to do that day. I see clients. I schedule a daily message on social media if something comes to me and wait to receive a message for Substack. I take time to sit in silence. I have scheduled events and the gathering every month. And I have no idea what comes next.
And that is okay.
It is not comfortable.
But Spirit is always on time. The messages come in perfect timing. Spirit has not let me down yet.
Some days it feels like I am on that roller coaster, creeping uphill in anticipation of some unknown shift in direction and speed, knowing in my heart that I am safely buckled in and a shift in life is imminent, but not knowing exactly how it will show up.
I would encourage you to rest in the arms of the Divine and know that even if you don’t know what is happening a month from now, a week from now, or even a day from now, Spirit has your back. Time is not as predictable as it was this time last year.
Yes. Sometimes sudden events throw us off our center. We wonder how we will navigate tomorrow or five minutes from now. But Spirit will always be there at exactly the right time.
Not knowing is an adventure in complete trust.
Have you been feeling a bit unsure of what the future holds? Do you sometimes wonder what the plan is?
I chatted a little about the monthly energy for July and the numerology of the number 8. Normally the number 8 is not all about ‘wait and see.’ It is not about ‘let’s revisit the past and see what hasn’t been healed.’ It is normally about harvest. But this month is different.
The astrology of July is forcing us to go backward a little. The harvest seems delayed, at least so far. I feel like by the end of the month we will be enjoying a little harvest, but that harvest may not necessarily be related to money.
Harvest is all about - what goes around, comes around. It is all about reaping a return on an investment of some kind. If you have been invested in a relationship that didn’t feel equally enjoyable, then your harvest may be the courage to address the inequality. Harvest is all about reaping the rewards or challenges related to what seeds you have been sowing.
If you have been sowing seeds of kindness and goodness, then you should be okay, unless your kindness has been at the expense of your own well-being. Maybe your roller coaster ride is all about creeping up the hill of self-empowerment. Throwing caution to the wind and doing something wild and unpredictable that benefits no one but yourself.
Join the club. Each day is a new lesson in trust and a new roller coaster to jump onto.
There are going to be twists and turns, ups and downs, quick stops and sudden bursts of speed, but it will be over before you know it.
Don’t stand on the sidelines of life and watch others boarding the ride while you observe from the shadows. Get engaged.
When you come to the end of your life, you will never regret the chances you took that maybe didn’t turn out the way you preferred. You will mostly regret the chances you didn’t take. Playing it safe does not come with a rush of bliss.
There is a bit of a warning with this encouragement to jump on this roller coaster. Never do anything that causes harm to yourself or others. You can’t avoid ALL harm. Earth life is filled with the reality that just breathing in air comes with the unavoidable need to breathe it back out again. There will always be the in-breath and the out-breath. There will always be the ascent up the hill into the unknown and then the descent into whatever is next. But don’t force anyone to ride the roller coaster with you if they are not ready.
Each of us has to find the ride that fits with our current state of comfort. Some of us will be content on the merry-go-round. Some of us will jump off at some point and head for something different. Some of us will be holding the popcorn and soda for the ones on the ride. Each of us has to find our bliss.
At some point, we will come to the end, saying, “What a ride! Let’s do that again!”
Enjoy!